Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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