I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
