Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
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We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize