roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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