In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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