i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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