and you said cock pushups were impossible
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
