i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
