I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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