I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
