people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The feeling are messing with the penis
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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