What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
