I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize