yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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