My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
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