Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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