She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
