How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
