Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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