also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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