In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
