You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
