You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
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It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Panties = found
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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