at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
