So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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