Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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