the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize