he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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