I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
