In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize