thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
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I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
how does that bad decision feel?
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