cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
