I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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