Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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