I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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