when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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