could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Help. Why am I so naked?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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