Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize