maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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