i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
