Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
