Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
