Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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