New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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