Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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