why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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