Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
