We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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