First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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