Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
