11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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