how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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