Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
