I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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