You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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