I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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