I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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