Will you blow on my dice?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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