my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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