remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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