apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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